The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
