Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
how does that bad decision feel?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
