Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize