Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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