I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
