no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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