the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
