Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize