I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
