after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
