it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Drake has all the answers
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
