i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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