i may or may not be watching the land before time
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
