Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
