Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I need to sanitize my soul.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize