you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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