I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
