"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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