You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
