I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
