it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
