Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
