this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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