matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize