Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
