I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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