I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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