I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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