Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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