sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she told me i tasted like america
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize