problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
