Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
