Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
