My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
