I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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