The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
