I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
