Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
