the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
