So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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