someone threw a dead crab at me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
