Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
