put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
