have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
