franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
