we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize