I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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