Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
