Moan for me like Helen Keller
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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