oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
