A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
