party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
