fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
