More tranny stories later!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
