Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
