i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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