So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
