i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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