In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
