i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
