Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
