never play flip cup with pint glasses
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
