yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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