porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
