It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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