good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize