There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
