so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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