cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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