So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
