Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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