I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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