Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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